(Or someone else you care about)
The recent (as of this writing) death of my Mother has sent me careening down a warren of hoops, troubles, and interactions with State and Federal agencies. Most of which was caused by her not having a will. But even if there is a will, that doesn’t mean you’re on an easy road. Read on to find out what is involved, and how you can make everyone’s else’s life as easy as possible when you shuffle off of this mortal coil.
This post will get updates as I work through the process.
Get a will. Now.
This is the number one thing, and if you choose to ignore everything else, don’t ignore this one! Your will spells out everything needed to handle your affairs postmortem. Who gets power of attorney, what you want done with your body, who gets which of your assets, etc. This is particularly important if you have multiple children…or no children!
If you do not have a will, your estate goes into probate which will add months to this whole process, and create nothing but pain and suffering for the person or people who have to handle your estate after you are gone. This is what happened to me for my Mother.
You will need to get this notarized and recorded by the state, the process of this varies from state to state, which brings us to…
Get an estate lawyer. No, really.
A good estate lawyer knows all the ins and outs of the State requirements for a will, and can make sure it is iron clad. They will also handle everything after your death, including educating your designated heir on how to get death certificates (get at LEAST 10 copies from the State office!), State and Federal reporting, and everything else. In addition, they can represent your next-of-kin for court appearances and such. This is incredibly important if you, like me, do not live in the same state! I am probably going to have to make multiple 1200 mile round trips to handle her estate, as I do not have the resources to hire an estate lawyer, and I do not have access to her estate. A lovely Catch-22.
Also, pay them ahead of time, so your heir(s) don’t have to, because…
Getting access to your estate takes time.
Again, this varies from state to state but it can take months before your heir is legally allowed to access your estate. This is why you want your estate lawyer to be pre-paid, or make an agreement for them to bill your estate. However, making a pre-payment will go a long way to solving any problems.
Probate sucks.
What is Probate? Put simply, it is the process of determining who is the ‘rightful heir’ for your estate.
As I mentioned above, having the estate going into probate will eat up time. But it also eats up money. Depending on the state, you may have to post notices in local newspapers, pay for a published obituary, and many other tasks which are surprisingly expensive.
For example…
Obituaries are expensive.
One company, obituaries.com, has monopolized the newspaper obituary business. Almost all major newspapers (the ones you have to file with) have outsourced to this company. Wanna guess how much a 74 word, no picture, no website, bare-bones obituary will cost for my Mom?
Three. Hundred. Dollars.
Collect your information in one place.
After you are gone, whomever has power of attorney is going to have to get access to everything you had access to, including but not limited to:
- Bank and Credit Card Accounts
- Shopping sites such as Amazon, especially if you have regular shipments/deliveries
- Your computer
- Your phone
- Your tablet
- Any and all websites such as Dropbox, Google Suite, etc.
- Any subscriptions which will drain your bank account. Newspapers, magazines, software, and so on
- Combinations to any safe, or safety deposit boxes
- And more!
There are books available to help you, such as “I’m Dead, Now What?” which work you through all of the most common things you need to think about and prepare for.”I’m
https://amzn.to/3V0aAtc – “I’m Dead, Now What?” (I get an Amazon commission if you buy it through this link.)
Use a password manager.
After you are gone, people will need access to your former life. If you have a password manager, this makes this process a lot easier. Use a strong password and give it to your estate lawyer and/or your appointed person with power of attorney.
Also, a password manager is just a smart thing to use! It’ll generate good passwords for your online life which you do not need to remember because the password manager does it for you! This, plus a good Two-Factor Authenticator on your phone will absolutely increase your protection against the bad people.
You have stuff. Chances are, no one wants it.
I know that’s pretty brutal, but it’s also true. Tough love time, here. I already have furniture, I didn’t need anything of my Mom’s. Same with most everything else she owned. She had great taste in clothing, but, you know, not really my size. Or style.
Work out ahead of time what people might want of yours, and write it all down. Then, figure out what to do with everything else. There are many, many thrift stores and donation places. I like Habitat for Humanity and their ReStore stores, but work with what’s best and local for you. I was very fortunate in that my Mom’s best friend worked with a number of thrift stores, and we were able to get a majority of her possessions out to help people in Asheville, NC, who were devastated by hurricane Helene.
What about my technology?
Your tech is probably out of date, and most likely will be unwanted. Make sure you leave instructions on how to have that disposed of properly. This means making sure people can access it to do factory resets/wipes!
The exception here is your computers, phones, and/or tablets, as mentioned above. Your next-of-kin will need these devices to soft-land your estate! There’s a lot of hoops to jump through to gain access to email accounts and such, so make sure this information is recorded and stored in a safe place, such as your estate lawyer, or given to your designated heir.
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